Just Keep On Going
Sometimes it gets daunting. We look around and wonder if it matters, or our rationale looks fuzzy and far away. We can feel like we’re buried under a pile of ‘I Don’t Give A Damn’. What started out as a fire and a frenzied launch out of the gates has gone well beyond a slog, and it can feel like we’re going through the motions.
You’re not alone in this.
In the moment it is difficult to get a wider look at where we are. When you’re deep in the forest, all you see is forest. When we’re caught in the mood of craptastic fear and uncertainty, we push away those dreams and passions that compel and draw us on. It’s a tension many of us know well.
And it’s ok.
In these times perhaps the goal isn’t to refocus on the goal, but to acknowledge the fears and let them go. Before we can focus on the road again (before I can focus at least) I need to notice that I’ve gone a little sideways. Take a pause for some breathing, a cup of tea, a walk, or any of the practices I implement once I notice I’m a bit wound up.
Sometimes it’s talking to a friend, in real life, or via skype or a google hangout.
Life can seem a deep fog, a dark woods, and all we can do is try to glimpse where to put the next foot to stumble forward. I’ve felt this one a lot, and that’s part of my motivation for this post. Keep going, and you get places.
On the cusp of a new thing, a big thing, an intimidating thing, the fears get ready to pounce again. Their well-honed lies aimed at shutting us down, aimed at keeping us “safe”.
It’s daunting and exciting. It’s the culmination of the past few years of my life. Leaving my career as a Registered Massage Therapist, living out of a backpack and striving to model and invite collaborative relationships for the past 2+ years has lead to this exact moment in time.
What if it didn’t work? Well.. I made it across the 2nd largest country in the world with $250, a backpack, and a borrowed camera. I had conversations aplenty, shared many a meal and a story, and met the timeline goals I had for myself. I got to the East Coast by the fall and raced the snow back West. I made it.
But what if it doesn’t work? Well.. I taught myself about photoediting, book layout, illustrating with a tablet. I continued to live out of my backpack, develop collaborative relationships with incredible people, and share photos and writing, over the 14 months it took to create the 437pg ebook overview of the trip. It got done.
But what if it doesn’t work? It’s been around 2 years and 4 months since I left my job, gave away most of my things, and started on this road. I’ve rarely gone without food. I’ve never had to sleep outside against my will. And I can do no less than walk forward to do what I see as possible: to encourage people to realize their wonder, to develop, and practically model, new ways of organizing for the mutual benefit of each other, of our communities, and of our societies. Developing artistry, unique abilities, the means to stand on one’s own, and the invitation to participate in greater models and relationships that better each other.
This is my aim, my goal, and my desire. And I believe it is possible.
Even though sometimes I worry and I get a little afraid.
In these times I hear the voices of my friends, my supporters, those who walk alongside me, and they remind me that I’m not alone in these desires, in these goals. I have finished my website redesign, I have created my patreon page, I have seen every step of my vision accomplished so far. It has come to pass, and I stand on the threshold, on the edge, and the invitation is there yet again: to jump out. To feel the fear and go.
I will keep taking those little steps. I will keep going forward. How could I do any less? My dreams, my hopes, my desires command it, and though I am afraid at times, I find the strength to take another little step, and another.
It is time. With this blogpost and this book launch I declare my desire to create my collaborative production house vision. To take what I do to the next level. To combine the skills and passions, stories and possibilities, of the amazing people I’ve met and know, into an example of what can be.
Ok, so this is a BIG little step. It is words and vision becoming action.
So.. I leave you with this invitation. If you find value in what I do, or what I share, please consider becoming one of my regular monthly patrons, or donating via paypal, and help me change this world for the better.
We can do it. I’m going to keep doing it and working towards it, but you could help me take it bigger and further, faster.
As always, if you have any questions please get ahold of me through the contact form here, or social media. If you know of anyone who might resonate with this, please share this with them, and if you can help in anyway I haven’t thought of yet, please let me know.
I invite the collaboration that will change how we do things, and model what our future can become.